"Sarah died yesterday."

I have been saying this over & over again, trying to accept that it is true.

Because it obviously isn't true. Sarah is alive & well in Edinburgh, planning her next trip to the Whisky Society, popping onto IM, dressing up for a ceilidh, rocketing through the countryside on an action-packed road trip, cuddling with her kitties ..... the distance makes it almost possible to pretend that this is the case, but I can feel her absence even from here. She's not signed onto IM. She's not sending text messages. She will never do these things again.

And now I'm crying again.

I knew Sarah for less than two years, but she had so much impact on my life. She made my time in Scotland vastly richer than it would have been otherwise, orchestrating all kinds of experiences in the city & country, giving of her network of friends & family, sharing with me her love of that place. After I came back to the States, she still stayed close via IM, LJ, & all the other technological means we could utilize. Her adventures brought her to the US last July, & she spent two weeks soaking up the culture of both coasts, taking in as much as she could despite the pain she was in. She urged me to ask la chica out on a second date - as usual, her argument was that we must always seize the day, take the chance.

And now I'm crying again.



Goodbye, Sarah. I love you.